Hey Babes! How are you?! I hope you're having a fantastic Monday! If not, I promise you it will get better :)
I'm always getting a lot of messages from some of you about building your confidence. Here are my thoughts on that topic ...
Building up your confidence to do anything in life will not happen overnight! If you think it will, I am here to tell you it is not, at least not mine. When I first started my blog I was around 120lbs fitting into a size 4-6, I had the confidence already when I first started back in 2012 but as the years went by I gained over 50lbs and that self esteem I had went right out the window. I felt like the elephant in the room literally, I would get so frustrated during my shoots because I would stand there for hours trying to figure out the right angles that will make me look thinner. The editing process took even longer, can't tell you how many times I wanted to get that facetune app and just start tweaking my pictures a little, but I wasn't ready for the humiliation that would've happen if one of my followers found out how much I was trying to make myself look thinner. I also wanted to be as real as possible, editing myself to look thinner wasn't me being real. I even wanted to stop blogging at one point because I was destroying myself with all this hatred and self doubt. That's when I started to start taking these steps that would help me build back that confidence ...
I started writing affirmations every morning I woke up, my favorite one was "I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring".
I changed the words "I hate this .." to "I love this .." for the body parts I wasn't a fan of.
I made changed way I ate and exercised the best way that I could (I hate the gym but I always went, still go till this day occasionally).
I cried myself to sleep, again it's a step by step process it's okay to let the emotions out, you are entitled to that. You can't always fake the happiness, cry if you have to.
I changed my alarm to "Wake up beautiful" .. who doesn't like to be called beautiful first thing in the morning.
I practiced my poses in front of the mirror naked and became my own hype man .. "yes bitch, look at that body" "you better work miss thang" "You are one sexy woman" "That's all woman right there!".
I will dress up whenever I felt "ugly" just to remind myself that I wasn't.
I will post self esteem quotes around my mirror to also remind myself of the path I was going through.
These were the steps I took that helped me build back that confidence. I had to remind myself of the magic I had inside of me. No one in this world is going to love you as much you will love yourself, not even yo momma (okay maybe that's pushing it) ..
So what if you're not where you want to be, embrace where you are now and trust the process. There is not a single person in the world that will get me back to that dark place I once was. You can call me ugly, fat, a whale, whatever you want to call me just know I will be the best looking ugly, fat bitch or whale you will ever ever ever see or come across. I will always kill you with kindness!
Now the decision is up to you ladies, you want to look and feel miserable your whole life or do you want to be happy and filled with self love? It better be happy!
SHOP MY LOOK